Hell and Back

Posted: April 8, 2014 in A Little Less Profound
Tags: , , , ,
Photo by Mikel Jollett, New Orleans, February 2014. Taken with Angela's husband's phone.

Photo by Mikel Jollett, New Orleans, February 2014. Taken with Angela’s husband’s phone.

By Angela

Editor’s Note: This post is a follow-up to Angela’s previous post, I Lost My Innocence Today, from December 2013 – the most widely read post in the history of This Is Nowhere.

As some of you avid readers of This Is Nowhere know, I wrote a story titled “I Lost My Innocence Today” last December, about being diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was not able to carry the baby to term, because my disease was so aggressive there was no time to wait. I had to start chemotherapy right away.

It’s been a long and ugly road, and I can honestly say that my family and I have most definitely been through “Hell and Back.” As of last week though, I found out that I am cancer free and in REMISSION!! My scans came back all clear, and I will have to go in every 3 months this first year for more scans, but at least no more chemotherapy.

These last 6 months have really hard on me both physically and mentally. I never imagined I would get cancer at 38 years old. I was in denial for so long, because grandparents get cancer; not healthy young adults. I was wrong. I was a runner, eat fairly healthy, mainly drink green tea and water, never smoked, but yet I have cancer. It was definitely unexpected and tragic.

Even though I am now technically in remission, I still cry, and some days have to force myself out of bed. My husband has been my rock. He has been there for me through this storm. “The Storm” is the perfect song for him. Where Mikel talks about just barely getting by some days, then a person comes to you and says that they were there all along – that’s my husband Ryan. He’s been there all along, even though there were many days when I felt so alone.

One of the best ways he could ever show me how much he is here supporting me, is for Christmas he surprised me with tickets to the Airborne show in New Orleans in February. He knew I had been going through so much, and knew that, even if for one weekend, I needed a break from all the heartache.

We drove the 8 hours from Austin to New Orleans, and had the best weekend I’ve had in so long. Thanks to someone special, we were able to meet the band before the show and listened in on the sound check. TATE performed their entire lineup for us and one other couple. I am still shocked to this day that I basically got a private concert from them. During the show, Mikel took Ryan’s phone, and took a selfie with us in the background. It’s pretty awesome.

Angela and Ryan meet The Airborne Toxic Event

Angela and Ryan meet The Airborne Toxic Event

We met a few guys from Florida who drove up that morning and were driving back that night, and another guy who flew in from Denver for the night just for the show. It truly shows how amazing TATE is, that people will drive hours on end or fly in for one night just to watch them perform. I think that shows how dedicated we are to the Airborne crew. And they were so worth it. When I met them, each and every one of them was so attentive, generous, and empathetic. Anna even told me about her mom’s battle with cancer when she was growing up. She was so compassionate. I missed meeting Noah, but Adrian was an excellent fill in.

Having cancer these last 6 months has been excruciatingly hard. I lost all of my hair, slept days away, gained roughly 15lbs due to the steroids I was taking, had to bear the stares and secondlooks from children and adults, and lost my sense of worth. No one knows what it’s like to go through cancer unless you’ve been down the same road. I still feel alone, only because even though my best friends, sister, parents, and my husband have gone above and beyond to help me, they don’t exactly know what I am going through; just as I will never know what they went through watching me fight this battle.

I’m glad to say that even though I still don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, there have been so many people come out from nowhere and help me and my family during this time. Every now and then strangers will stop me and give me a high five or a hug because they know what I’m going through. It makes me feel so empowered. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to those who have donated, time, money and even a new air conditioner for our home, to help us get through this difficult time. I know my war is not over with cancer. I still have a long road to go, but I know that TATE has been there all along, and will continue to carry me up every hill. Thanks for all of the encouraging words and prayers. Today I have tossed the cursed ruins of this dreadful disease. Everyday I’m “Changing.”

AngelaAngela lives in Austin TX, and works as a financial analyst. When she’s not creating budgets and actualizing sales costs, she’s spending time with her devoted husband of ten years and beautiful 5-year-old daughter. You can also find her curled up somewhere reading a book. She loves to read, and even calls her kindle her boyfriend, because it goes everywhere with her. Before she got sick, she liked to go for a run around their little lake downtown and take in the scenery of her beautiful city.

  1. A well deserved great big hug is sent your way plus a high five to everyone concerned for making your weekend so magic.


  2. Courtney says:

    Congratulations for kicking cancer’s ass! Nothing but good vibes your way!!! You look absolutely beautiful in those photos! Also High Five to your husband for the Los Pollos Hermanos t-shirt! 🙂


  3. Jorge s says:

    Omg that’s us in the pic we drove from San antonio and I gave u the set list that I had gotten from the band so glad u are doing well. It was a great night. I remember u touching mikels leg


  4. Angela Fuller says:

    Thank you Jorge!!! I remember you giving me the set list. I still have it as well as Steven’s guitar pick. It was a fantastic night. I’m hoping to see them again next month in Fort Worth. If you go, we need to hook up!


    • Angela Fuller says:

      Thank you Jorge!!! I remember you giving me the set list. I still have it as well as Steven’s guitar pick. It was a fantastic night. I’m hoping to see them again next month in Fort Worth. If you go, we need to hook up!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s