The Airborne Toxic Event Lyrics: All I Ever Wanted

The Airborne Toxic Event, All At OnceFrom The Album All At Once (2011)
Published by Primary Wave Airborne (ASCAP)
Lyrics by Mikel Jollett

All I Ever Wanted

I can only say these things to you while you’re sleeping. I hear the hum from the wires, the sounds of the morning creep in. I lie awake pretending you can hear me.

You tell me that you’re scared you’re turning into your mother. I feel myself turning into my father. We could lie to each other like they do and say we’re still happy. It’s easy when you’re young and you still want it so badly. I feel my heart pounding and think I might scream.

I can tell you that you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Dear. I can utter every word you’ve ever hoped to hear. I shudder when I think that I might not be here forever.

All the nights we whisper like ghosts and you look so shaken. You’re so quiet and small, you tell me you want to be taken. I just never think of you as the kind of girl who would say that. You suddenly seem like some faceless thing in my grasp.

Your eyes alight, your face aglow. It’s the face of someone I don’t know.

I can tell that you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Dear. I can utter every word you’ve ever hoped to hear. I shudder when I think I might not be here forever.

And all I can think is that it must be a kind of rebellion — to arm your fears like soldiers and slay them.

I can tell you that you’re all I ever wanted, Dear, through the din of your breathing while you’re sleeping here, you wake and you ask me if I’m going to be here forever. Your face so twisted and your eyes alight, I want to tell you I can change it when you cry at night, but I’d be lying.

Love is defying.

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